December 31, 2019 monicarose

Resolutions

Life, Medical School

Whenever I talk to premedical students, a question that I’m always asked is, “how do you balance medical school and your personal life?” 

To answer this briefly and honestly: There are many days when I don’t have a balance at all, and I think that’s extremely common amongst all medical students regardless of what you may see on any of our social media.  During medical school, the amount of time you’ll have outside of your responsibilities as a medical student vary widely based upon what rotation you’re on.  There definitely are medical students who do keep up on daily wellness routines regardless of what rotation they’re on, and those people truly inspire me; but, I think they’re the exceptions and that the majority of us will wax and wane on our success of staying 100% balanced during this journey. 

We must first show up for ourselves before we can show up for others.

To any premedical students reading, my main advice is this: Definitely always do your best to take care of your mental and physical health because it is absolutely true that we must first show up for ourselves before we can show up for others.  All of the work you can put into knowing and taking care of yourself before medical school will only help you in the long run.  However, as you’re on this journey, be patient and forgiving of yourself too. Please know that for most of us on this journey, our wellness activities are constant “to-do” items that do not always get checked off.  You may see our hikes and our successful wellness days on social media, but you don’t see the days in between when we find that we’re talking ourselves out of a work out just to finish a few more flash cards or just to get another hour of sleep.  We honestly all feel like we’re winging it and are figuring things out as we go, so don’t be afraid to be honest and lean on your support system. 

My mental and physical health definitely took a hit this year…and I’m working on accepting my own advice that that is completely okay.

For me, adjusting to being in hospital rotations has been a combination of really loving my time being involved in patient care, but also struggling to keep up on my “wellness” time.  2019 in particular was an extremely difficult year for me, as you know, after the loss of my lab Holly. Between that depressed episode and all of the anxiety-provoking unknowns brought by the third year of medical school, my mental and physical health definitely took a hit this year…and I’m working on accepting my own advice that that is completely okay.  For me, my best effort this year looked like maybe one workout a week, three on a great week, but after getting my puppy Luna I would be sure to play with and train her every single day.  Getting my Luna was me taking my own advice of working to fit in daily things that keep you grounded, and it definitely got me through as I felt my “wellness” was barely treading water this year. 

… 

Tomorrow marks the beginning of a new year, and a new decade.  I’ll be joining the bandwagon and setting goals for myself, particularly in regards to my mental and physical health.  I was looking at the actual definition of “resolution” and read that it means “a firm decision to do or not do something”.  This makes sense, as many of us set a resolution to exercise more or to not eat so many sweets… however, as I thought about it more, I found that I preferred the word “intention,” meaning “an aim or a plan”.  Things in life don’t tend to be as “firm” as we like to think, and we may make plans but life will turn out the way it’s supposed to regardless of our firm decisions. All we can do is live with our best intentions and try to stay positive regardless of what life throws at us.  

I think our resolutions and intentions come down to wanting to be our best selves.

Whether we’re working to control an addiction or unhealthy relationships with substances, food, or even other people, or we’re working on our self-talk and how we feel about the person looking at us in the mirror,  I think our resolutions and intentions come down to us always striving to be the best version of ourselves.  

My goal for the new year is to take better care of my mental and physical health, even as third year continues and as the responsibilities of fourth year come.  I will be more consistent in working out, even if all I have the energy for is a quick at-home routine. I will gain strength back that I’ve lost, and lose some extra weight that I’ve been carrying.  With this being said, the most important part of my intentions and resolutions for the new year is that I intend to reach my goals while nurturing and loving my mind and my body instead of telling myself that I’m battling with them. 

However you set your goals for the new year, I hope you do so out of kindness and love for yourself, and I hope there’s some comfort that you’re not alone, whether it’s from posts like this, your support system, or anything else. Happy 2020!