April 26, 2020April 26, 2020 monicarose

Reflecting, Giving Back, and Trying to Stay Grounded so far during COVID-19

Life, Medical School

Reflecting on the events so far from the perspective of a medical student 

Friends and family not directly in the medical field often overestimate how much us medical students actually contribute to the clinical world while we’re still in school.  While of course we are always happy to help in any small way, and love being able to take our time chatting with our patients, at the end of the day we are not usually “essential” to the process of patient care, and the events surrounding COVID-19 so far have emphasized this in a new way.  

When my state first established a “stay at home order” in Mid-March, I was actually already at home, in a 4-week period already built into our curriculum dedicated to studying and re-taking up to 7 shelf exams and I was preparing for USMLE Step 2 CK.  As a new 4th year, I was scheduled to start rotations on April 6th, and our new 3rd years were scheduled to start their rotations at the end of March.  Now, 3rd and 4th year students around the country are all switched to virtual “rotations”, and 1st and 2nd year students continue their didactic work from home.  

This is a unique time for everyone, regardless of what your occupation is, but the medical field specifically is, of course, facing unique challenges.  As a medical student, and especially as someone hoping to go into the field of Emergency Medicine, I have honestly felt a sense of guilt in that I’m not yet trained enough to help alleviate the stress our healthcare system is under.  I’ve also felt guilty for stressing over shelf exams, Step 2, and my fourth year schedule while others in the world face much more serious worries such as the need for food and shelter, and for their health.  I’m sure I’m not alone in these feelings of guilt, and to any medical students reading, I hope your similar feelings are normalized and you feel less alone. 

Something that keeps getting repeated in almost every virtual meeting I attend or listen in on is that “everybody in the world is facing the same thing”.  I personally find it simultaneously terrifying and comforting that everyone is facing this same threat.  Most people haven’t lived through this type of world-wide danger before, so I understand the need for us to repeat this as we all try to wrap our minds around what’s going on.  One common theme that has emerged from this mess has been our desire to support each other, and that’s something I’m personally trying to hold on to as I sometimes struggle to keep myself grounded. 

Supporting our communities in a time of social distancing 

My favorite news and social media stories during this time have been the ones highlighting how people are supporting each other, even from a distance.  I think it exemplifies the important lesson that we all need each other, and that human connection is truly so powerful.  My advice to anyone reading, but especially medical students, is to keep in mind that even small things we do to give back to others can add up into something amazing.  For most of us, the most powerful thing we can do is stay home to protect ourselves and others, and this feels so counterintuitive, but again we’re all in this together.  This is also an important time to reach out virtually, whether it’s to your own loved ones or to strangers who might need your support.  I hope all the PhiDE family reading this feels they can lean on their local chapters for support and connection, and please know myself and the rest of the International Board are here as extended family too. 

I also continue to be so proud and in awe of the work of so many PhiDE leaders and how you find unique ways to stay connected, and to give back during this time.  One chapter shared a Run & Walk-a-thon that benefitted Feeding America, others are making cards for children in the hospital, and every day I see more opportunities on our social media to help give back.  I personally gave Facebook’s “birthday fundraiser” a try and was so excited to see money raised go to Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals.  To any PhiDE members reading, keep in touch on our social media for more ways we can give back and stay connected. 

One piece of advice that I’ve heard, specifically from those in the emergency medicine field, is that medical students should volunteer as much as possible.  At my school so far, the primary way we are able to help is by volunteering at our UNLV Coronavirus Hotline Call Center, and I definitely do love the days when I finally feel I am helping more directly than studying at home.  For any medical students reading, definitely work with your faculty on safe projects you can help with if you feel comfortable, but also don’t feel guilty if you or someone in your household is part of a vulnerable patient population and the best thing you can do is stay distanced. 

Taking care of mental and physical wellness 

One of my goals with this blog is to honestly share some of the failures I face along this journey, because it can be easy to think that everything is “easy” when we look at social media.  So, with that said, I openly admit that I have been struggling to stay mentally grounded with everything going on, and I know I’m not alone, but that doesn’t always make it easier to get back on track.  There are days when I convince myself that I won’t match next year because of the changes to my Step 2 and fourth year schedules.  There are days when fear of the unknown, fear for the lives of my vulnerable loved ones, fear for vulnerable populations in general, and fear that things will never resemble “normal” again take up most of my mental energy.  But, I’m still trying to bring things back to my personal mantra, “the hard times put the shine into the diamond”, still looking for ways I can take care of myself as I continue moving forward as best as I can. 

[Grateful moment]  Before I share my own wellness strategies, I also have to acknowledge how fortunate I am for so many things in my life.  I am so privileged to have a safe home with my fiance, mom, and our fur babies, and I work every day not to take that for granted and to be aware of that privilege.  I’m also so lucky for my family support system, and I love my Facetime talks with them.  I am grateful for my school faculty for offering us support in every way they can, even as we face so many unknowns together.  I am so thankful for my PhiDE Family and for the supportive leadership I’ve seen in my local chapter, and at an international level.  I am appreciative that organizations like EMRA (Emergency Medicine Residents’ Association) are sharing information specifically aimed at medical students in my same position.  Similar to everyone else, I am indebted to the essential workers both in the healthcare field and in other fields who are caring for the sick and allowing us to keep moving forward. 

My version of taking care of my physical wellness has been getting more into running with my white german shepherd pup Luna, and I’ve also been doing Les Mills BodyCombat and BodyPump classes at home, since those are the classes I used to do at the gym.  I also try to cook relatively healthy meals, and even though cooking isn’t my favorite thing to do, I’ve been trying new recipes and I do enjoy cooking with Dom.

Even as I was being somewhat consistent with my physical wellness, I’ve still been wanting to add something to support my mental wellness specifically.  Most of my days are taken up by studying, so my mind definitely needs breaks, and I need things that help me stay grounded.  I have intermittently tried meditations in the past, but I’ve been wanting to be more consistent with it for some time now.  So, as I was (and still am intermittently) experiencing some anxiety and mind-racing feelings, I decided to use the Headspace app to meditate. I’m just 14 sessions in, but I really like it so far.  I most consistently use it at night when I’m trying to relax before bed, but I’m also trying to work through their first “basics” course during the days. There are also lots of free options for tools to support mental wellness, and I’ll post some links in the comments below to share more resources. 

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I hope I’ve played a small part in normalizing some of the anxiety we all might be feeling, especially as medical students.  If you’re a newly accepted medical student deciding where to go to school this fall and wondering how things will work out, my advice is to try to relax as much as you can before you’re onto this next step of the journey.  If you’re a first-year medical student looking ahead to summer, definitely take a break as much as you can.  If you’re an almost third-year student, I’m sorry your introduction to clinicals is delayed, but I hope you’re able to take advantage of this time to not only study, but also cultivate some wellness skills that will definitely serve you well throughout the rest of third year and beyond.  If you’re with me, a new fourth-year student, I hope you’re still able to learn some clinically applicable skills on your online courses, and we’re in this together as we face an application cycle with so many unknowns.  If you’re about to graduate medical school, congratulations!, and I also hope you’re able to spend some time with your loved ones as you get ready for your intern year adventures.  No matter what stage we’re at on this journey, we’re not alone, and it’s okay to not be okay all the time.  I hope we can all work to give space to the disappointments and unknowns, while also celebrating the ways we persevere and overcome challenges we never knew we were capable of facing.